Before you know it, summer will be over, and your kids will have to go back to school. It’s always an exciting and stressful time of year, especially if you and your children’s other parent are divorced. But navigating back-to-school doesn’t have to be as stressful as you think. In fact, there are steps you can take to make the process easier for you and your children while reducing the conflict and stress associated with dealing with your ex-spouse.
Tips for how divorced parents can handle back-to-school
Successfully getting your kids back to school depends on how diligent you are in navigating the complexities ahead. But don’t get overly stressed by the process. Instead, consider utilizing the following tips to reduce the potential tension with your children’s other parent and to develop a plan that works for everyone:
- Review your custody arrangement: Whether you negotiated a parenting plan or the court had to specify your custody arrangement, make sure you revisit the controlling document so that you and the other parent have a clear understanding of who gets the children and when. You should also clarify with the other parent transportation obligations and any anticipated scheduling conflicts that may arise during the school year.
- Discuss back-to-school costs: Buying back-to-school supplies and even new clothes for your kids can get expensive. And it’s not a financial burden that you should have to shoulder on your own. So, discuss these expenses with the other parent to see if you can work out a way to divide the costs in a fair way.
- Use technology to your advantage: Once school starts up, schedules can get hectic, with pick-ups, drop offs, and extracurricular activities eating up your calendar. It can be hard to keep it all straight, especially when you’re trying to coordinate with the other parent. By using technology, though, such as scheduling and calendaring apps, you can make your life a lot easier while providing clarity as to your and your ex-spouse’s obligations.
- Discuss routines and rules: Children need consistency and routine to thrive. That can be hard to acquire when splitting time between two households. But you and your children’s other parent can work together to lay ground rules and expectations that are consistent between the two households. Therefore, you and the other parent should discuss the rules as they pertain to when homework should be completed, when bedtime occurs, and how much screen time is allowed.
- Be engaged in your children’s schooling together: It might be hard to interact with your children’s other parent, but doing so may be necessary to support your children and their best interests. For example, by attending parent-teacher conferences with the other parent, you can both get on the same page about your child’s school performance and what you can do collaboratively to support their development. Remember, your children should come first, so put away any negative animosity you might feel toward the other parent when talking about what you can do to support your kids.
What if you have an uncooperative or uninterested ex-spouse?
If this is the case, then you may be unable to include them in back-to-school planning as much as you’d like. And if they try to insert themselves into the planning in a way that’s harmful to your children, or if they fail to abide by the terms of your custody agreement as you navigate back-to-school, then you might have to take legal action to remedy the issue. If that’s the case for you, then now is the time to discuss the matter with your attorney. Otherwise, we wish you luck in your back-to-school planning and hope it goes off without a hitch.